hmmmm....

It's funny when writing in a journal I feel less pressure to say something profound. I can write single words and completely understand an entire message in one word. But that is my journal and not just laying around the Internet for people to happen upon when they are bored and obviously have nothing better to read. And it's my brain so no one else needs to understand the meaning of each individual word written.

 It's funny I have so much going on in my head but have nothing to say. I wish thinking wasn't so necessary. Not thinking would solve way more problems than it (thinking) causes.

Maybe that is why I have so many single word "sentences" in my journal... I have a million words in my head and none of them can form one good sentence that anyone (myself included) can really understand.

So, I just read what I typed and what's  funny is... I bet there is a pill for that: Having trouble sleeping? Crazy one word sentences flying through your brain so many that you can't form one complete thought? Causing restless and sleepless nights where you are typing (instead of talking) it out? Take this Mega Wonder Drug Pill that is non habit forming and side effects may include: SLEEPLESSNESS, DROWSINESS (be careful operating a motor vehicle or using heavy machinery) or VISION LOSS and HEADACHES... (and heavy machinery really??? Because so many of us just happen to operate heavy machinery) And very few actually experienced this but DEATH. Please consult your Dr before taking this Mega Wonder Drug Pill because it may be habit forming... ( Uh didn't they say it was non habit forming?)

So basically I guess my prescription is typing random shit on the internet in hopes that the bright screen in my dark room will make my eyes tired. Instead of possible death and other ridiculous side effects that could possibly happen when always looking for a drug to fix it.

New year NEW YOU! Why does everyone always say that? It suggests THIS (right here, right now) is your only opportunity to reinvent yourself. Hurry before the window of opportunity closes and you are forever "stuck" being the "Old you" Suggesting even further that you are just not good enough. Well, thanks for the kind words of encouragement bull shit weight loss pill/Gym Membership/crappy trade school commercial propaganda but I like me... Could I be better? Hell Yeah! because that is how awesome I am... But I can do it in March or even May. 

This month did happen to be a pretty special time in my life though. I turned 30. Yes I said it no more 2's in front of my age and I am not even scared. I was nervous, but thanks to realizing that it is never too late to be great, I am feeling pretty good about it. I am 30 and I am starting college 12 years after graduating high school. I just wouldn't have it any other way. So, as far as hurrying up to change myself... As you can see from the 12 year sabbatical from being a student no one rushes me into anything ;)